Voices

The need to be perfect!

What comes to my mind?

Be pretty. Be intelligent,

Or the reverse stereotype?

Cause I need to fit in.

I need to belong.

……………………………………………………………………………..

I have all these voices in my head

Dictating how ‘it’ should be,

what ‘I’ should be;

and not.

Cause one should be a certain type.

Which I am not.

I have all these voices,

So many of them.

“How can I be that which I am not?”

I can’t be them, so I am out.

Outsmarted. Outdrawn. Outcast?

 

I have all these emotions

What do I do, where do I keep them?

I try throwing them out.

But they just keep coming back.

Messing with my head,

messing with my soul.

Telling me “no matter what

you never will be enough,

you never will be whole”

 

So, I shut myself out,

I shut myself in.

…………………………………………………………………..

I have all these voices in my head

And you put them there.

Deftly disguising your poison as care.

 

So pack all your shoulds and your lies

Clear out your voices,

and say your goodbyes.

I am locking this door

throwing out the keys.

 

From now on, I am going to be me.

Not perfect

Just Free.

Just me.

 

By-

Anubha Mamgain